I grew up in an abusive environment, and was criticized by my father and made to feel small and like I was nothing virtually daily.
I shut down and hid my nose in a book, like my mother.
Then when I was in middle school I was beat up by the school bully while waiting to ride my second bus home, and all my friends cowered away because they were afraid of the bullies. I was on my own, and I never felt safe after that, never felt like people would help me.
That was the day that I wore a cute little culotte skirt too, remember those? I was probably feeling pretty good about myself that day, which would be exactly the day the bully would decide to take me down…God forbid that anyone feels good about themselves!
Now when I feel criticized, I want to shut down and not go forward anymore. I have to make myself get back up and keep going again, when all I want to do is go into a corner to hide.
When I decided to fight for chained dogs, I had to look at the very real possibility of being shot by a chainer, and ironically they’ve been the lesser of the people trying to destroy me. I had to face the possibility of death in order to move forward, and decided to do it anyway.
Today while I sat out in the courthouse lawn on Day 4 of my Surry County Hunger Strike, Commonwealth Attorney Gerald Poindexter came out, read my sign, and laughed in my face.
This is what bullies do. They try every tactic to belittle you and make you feel like you are nothing until you give up and go away.
And that’s what every bone in my body wants to do. Just hide.
See, I actually have the most awesome place I could escape to. My husband and I just bought a house along a river in northern Virginia, and he sent me this pic of our dog and two cats laying out in the yard today. This place is my dream home, and it’s not even huge, or not even fancy, but it’s ME, and I love it to a million pieces. And I could be there right now, having just finished a meal with my husband and went for a walk in the woods with my dog, Sloan.
Sloan, who I rescued from a chain two years ago and who would tell you he’s the furthest thing from abused, if he could talk. And so would my cat Tuna, who I’ve had for ten years, and my cat Mitsi, who I’ve had for fourteen years.
But yet I left my haven and came down here to do a Hunger Strike because Justice CAN EXIST and SHOULD EXIST. And I will never understand why it DOESN’T EXIST so much of the time.
My husband says I’m the bravest person he knows…yet I feel like the most cowardly.
I am hoping I disabled my comments so that I don’t have to read the attacks of my online bullies any longer. It takes every ounce of strength I have to not eat and to go up there and face Surry County each day, be laughed at and mocked—why do I have to come back, hungry, tired, sad, and weak and read these people’s vitriole against me?
They say the most vile and hateful things, many of them having never even met me before, and I know they do it to destroy me, and I hate that they succeed. They’ll be so happy to read this.
I wonder why it is that everyone thinks they have the right to abuse others on the internet? I also wonder why everyone thinks that you should allow them to post their hateful comments about you on YOUR page?
This is MY PAGE. I’m calling it an abuse free zone.
I actually feel sorry for you that you have such horribly sad lives that you need to try to destroy me all day long instead of finding something that would bring you joy.
Why would you even want to spend your time attacking a woman who has obviously been ground down into the dirt? Because she has the guts to stand back up again and you don’t? Have you absolutely not one shred of human compassion in your souls?
The ONLY reason I’m now standing up to Poindexter, Terry, and Whitfield online is because I kept my mouth shut for EIGHT MONTHS waiting for Whitfield to be charged, all the while I was defamed and falsely accused of animal cruelty on local tv stations, online, and in newspapers.
Those charges have been on Poindexter’s desk since October.
If Poindexter had done the right thing, i.e. HIS JOB, she would have been charged and the charges against me would have been dropped long ago.
But he hasn’t, and my name and the name of DDB is still not clear.
These charges are very real, and they are sitting there right now waiting to be filed. Why has this not occurred? To read more and see all the evidence, visit the page at http://www.dogsdeservebetter.org/surrycounty.html.
It’s really very simple. If Poindexter won’t do it, then we need to find someone else who will.
Please sign this petition, to join me in calling for justice to be served that was created by my good friend. https://www.change.org/petitions/gerald-g-poindexter-attorney-surry-va-drop-charges-against-tamira-thayne-and-formally-charge-deanna-whitfield
Once again, I’m not asking for special treatment, only equal treatment under the law.
By the way, tomorrow is a blessing of the Good Newz Rehab Center, at 1:00 p.m.. We have one reverend coming, and I will be debuting my ministerial abilities, although God knows we need more than me to bring healthy and positive vibes to this place! That much is abundantly clear.
All are welcome, as are spiritual healers who’d also like to bless the property and the land. Our address is 1915 Moonlight Rd., Smithfield, VA 23430. There is a snack spread after the ceremony.
Hope to see you then!