I Just Shut Down, And That’s What They Want

I grew up in an abusive environment, and was criticized by my father and made to feel small and like I was nothing virtually daily.

I shut down and hid my nose in a book, like my mother.

Then when I was in middle school I was beat up by the school bully while waiting to ride my second bus home, and all my friends cowered away because they were afraid of the bullies. I was on my own, and I never felt safe after that, never felt like people would help me.

That was the day that I wore a cute little culotte skirt too, remember those? I was probably feeling pretty good about myself that day, which would be exactly the day the bully would decide to take me down…God forbid that anyone feels good about themselves!

Now when I feel criticized, I want to shut down and not go forward anymore. I have to make myself get back up and keep going again, when all I want to do is go into a corner to hide.

When I decided to fight for chained dogs, I had to look at the very real possibility of being shot by a chainer, and ironically they’ve been the lesser of the people trying to destroy me. I had to face the possibility of death in order to move forward, and decided to do it anyway.

I Am and Always Was Innocent

I Am and Always Was Innocent

Today while I sat out in the courthouse lawn on Day 4 of my Surry County Hunger Strike, Commonwealth Attorney Gerald Poindexter came out, read my sign, and laughed in my face.

This is what bullies do. They try every tactic to belittle you and make you feel like you are nothing until you give up and go away.

And that’s what every bone in my body wants to do. Just hide.

See, I actually have the most awesome place I could escape to. My husband and I just bought a house along a river in northern Virginia, and he sent me this pic of our dog and two cats laying out in the yard today. This place is my dream home, and it’s not even huge, or not even fancy, but it’s ME, and I love it to a million pieces. And I could be there right now, having just finished a meal with my husband and went for a walk in the woods with my dog, Sloan.

Sloan, who I rescued from a chain two years ago and who would tell you he’s the furthest thing from abused, if he could talk. And so would my cat Tuna, who I’ve had for ten years, and my cat Mitsi, who I’ve had for fourteen years.

But yet I left my haven and came down here to do a Hunger Strike because Justice CAN EXIST and SHOULD EXIST. And I will never understand why it DOESN’T EXIST so much of the time.

My husband says I’m the bravest person he knows…yet I feel like the most cowardly.

Sloan, Tuna, and Mitsy laying in the yard

Sloan, Tuna, and Mitsy hanging in the yard

I am hoping I disabled my comments so that I don’t have to read the attacks of my online bullies any longer. It takes every ounce of strength I have to not eat and to go up there and face Surry County each day, be laughed at and mocked—why do I have to come back, hungry, tired, sad, and weak and read these people’s vitriole against me?

They say the most vile and hateful things, many of them having never even met me before, and I know they do it to destroy me, and I hate that they succeed. They’ll be so happy to read this.

I wonder why it is that everyone thinks they have the right to abuse others on the internet? I also wonder why everyone thinks that you should allow them to post their hateful comments about you on YOUR page?

This is MY PAGE. I’m calling it an abuse free zone.

I actually feel sorry for you that you have such horribly sad lives that you need to try to destroy me all day long instead of finding something that would bring you joy.

Why would you even want to spend your time attacking a woman who has obviously been ground down into the dirt? Because she has the guts to stand back up again and you don’t? Have you absolutely not one shred of human compassion in your souls?

The ONLY reason I’m now standing up to Poindexter, Terry, and Whitfield online is because I kept my mouth shut for EIGHT MONTHS waiting for Whitfield to be charged, all the while I was defamed and falsely accused of animal cruelty on local tv stations, online, and in newspapers.

Those charges have been on Poindexter’s desk since October.

If Poindexter had done the right thing, i.e. HIS JOB, she would have been charged and the charges against me would have been dropped long ago.

But he hasn’t, and my name and the name of DDB is still not clear.

These charges are very real, and they are sitting there right now waiting to be filed. Why has this not occurred? To read more and see all the evidence, visit the page at http://www.dogsdeservebetter.org/surrycounty.html.

It’s really very simple. If Poindexter won’t do it, then we need to find someone else who will.

Please sign this petition, to join me in calling for justice to be served that was created by my good friend. https://www.change.org/petitions/gerald-g-poindexter-attorney-surry-va-drop-charges-against-tamira-thayne-and-formally-charge-deanna-whitfield

Once again, I’m not asking for special treatment, only equal treatment under the law.

By the way, tomorrow is a blessing of the Good Newz Rehab Center, at 1:00 p.m.. We have one reverend coming, and I will be debuting my ministerial abilities, although God knows we need more than me to bring healthy and positive vibes to this place! That much is abundantly clear.

All are welcome, as are spiritual healers who’d also like to bless the property and the land. Our address is 1915 Moonlight Rd., Smithfield, VA 23430. There is a snack spread after the ceremony.

Hope to see you then!

Advertisements
Standard

8 thoughts on “I Just Shut Down, And That’s What They Want

  1. Tamira, you ARE brave. Bravery consists of being afraid, but doing the right thing anyway. That’s what makes you brave. Foolhardy is just rushing in without considering the consequences. You deserve to be declared innocent and also should be reimbursed for that employee stealing your money. Just because people in that county think what you do (rescue abused animals) is not all that worthwhile doesn’t mean they shouldn’t do their jobs. And as for laughing at you, as for disrespecting you, YOU will have the last laugh. The tide is turning in the U.S. and we are becoming a more compassionate nation towards animals, and you are on the forefront of that movement. Be proud of yourself. You are a great example and I am so deeply grateful to you for what you are doing, and I know many other people are, also. Not to mention the dogs! 😉 Keep your chin up. You have no reason to hide. You are a beautiful person inside and out.

  2. Sweetheart….please eat…there are other ways to fix things…go home to the people that love you…dont make yourself sick….and by all means, dont spend one more second addressing the bullies…prayers for you…youre a very good person…

  3. samanthalaine310 says:

    Joe is right. You are. Just keep on keeping on, Tami. Bullies only win when we give them all our power. When we. Shut down. Go away. Be quiet. Yes on find others who can bring Justice. You will. The people who love you will. All of us who know who you are, and where you’ve been, and how you walk to help the four-legged.

  4. Anonymous says:

    I’m so sorry that you had such a disheartening experience again today. He should be ashamed of behaving that way. Please take care of yourself.

  5. Hi Tamira! You are a brave woman and even though i’m on the West coast–you have my full support in whatever you do. I’ve been your fan since before the Good Newz Rehab existed and I know you are a good and honest person who is simply trying to do her part to make this world right.

    FIGHT ON!

  6. Anonymous says:

    This is such crap! Tamira is a douch! I live in Surry Co. and she has NO CLUE!!!!!!!!!! I have seen how you abuse animals on ripoffreport.com so what good meaning do you have for our county? We do not want you here!

  7. Anonymous says:

    Oh yes, tell us of your struggle! Tracy Terry got you when no one else could!!!!!! You go Tracy!!!!!! Mr. Poindexter let you off lightly and you are going to irritate him??????? Go ahead…..I would love to see him convict you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s